mahal ka o mahal mo?

from out of nowhere, my friend blurted this question to me. we just finished our coffee (i didn't like the way it was prepared today. it was way too strong for me. hence, i am still wide awake at 2:00 am) and we were just walking when the question was verbalized.

not wanting to overanalyze, i told my friend that it has been awhile since that question was asked. or it has been awhile since someone asked my take on a similar question.

'mahal ko,' i quipped.

it was not the response that he expected. this is the part where it gets tricky. do you answer based on what your friend wants to hear or based on what you really feel deep down inside? sometimes, rules must be bent in order to make a friend feel better. this time, i did not feel the need so i went for what i felt deep down inside.

upon closer analysis, why is it not possible that 'mahal mo' can be equal to 'mahal ka?' well, it is possible but it does not happen everyday.

'lahat kasi ng mahal ko, hindi ako mahal. eh di dun na lang ako sa mahal ako,' replied my friend quickly. i had no idea if my friend was trying to convince me or if he was trying to convince himself.

for a moment, i was quite stumped. how many people in this world feel that? there was a point in the not-so-distant past that i felt the exact same way.

is it selfish to just go for that someone who loves you, and hope (against hope, maybe?) that you will learn to love that someone back?

is it stupid to go for that someone you love, and hope (against hope as well?) that that someone will learn to love you back?